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Orbtial Glory - by me

I decided to push my luck and go for the Uni roundabout this morning... I performed an amazing maneuver to get through the non-bus-lane lights and, in recognition of my greatness, the middle lane opened up with nothing between me and the awaiting roundabout.

In a flicker of orange indicators, cars already on the roundabout scrambled to get out of my way rather than impede my gravity fuelled trip into work. I hit the roundabout at about 15mph, the curve maternally hugging my centre of gravity, my attention almost fully on the concrete apart from a lingering, superior sneer at the three lines of traffic who had to wait and witness my orbital glory.

I overtook a car waiting at the pedestrian lights, hitting them at the instant between red and orange, stopmed down the right hand lane of traffic, arrived at the Mappin junction just as a conspiratorial pedestrian had hit the lights, meaning I could cut the corner and slide into Mappin Street. I overtook the awaiting cars, undertook the bus who had just pulled up, bunnyhopped the 2-day-old speed bump and pulled a contemptuous ninety-degree skid, arriving in perfect alignment with the bar to which I secure my cyclical steed.